Friday, December 10, 2010

Married

Ugh, I can feel that this blog isn't going to last long.  I originally started it to help me get things off my mind and now I just think I have too much to do.  Besides, I'm discovering the lost art of hand-writing.  You know, picking up a nice pen and writing letters which form words.....on paper.  It's great, you should try it sometime.

G and I are very happy.  Being married doesn't change much but it does feel different.  The commitment seems more real, substantial.........and the open-ended fear I felt for eight years in my previous relationship that at any moment, I could get tossed, is completely absent.  You see not only have I chosen him and am committed to him but he is committed to me.  That, in a strange way, strengthens my feeling of commitment to him.  It also makes me feel a lot more loved and worthy of that love.  He took a chance on me just as I did on him.  When I fuck up, he'll still be my husband.  When he fucks up, I'll still be his wife.  Those things won't change and THAT is a miracle not to be taken for granted.

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