Ugh, I can feel that this blog isn't going to last long. I originally started it to help me get things off my mind and now I just think I have too much to do. Besides, I'm discovering the lost art of hand-writing. You know, picking up a nice pen and writing letters which form words.....on paper. It's great, you should try it sometime.
G and I are very happy. Being married doesn't change much but it does feel different. The commitment seems more real, substantial.........and the open-ended fear I felt for eight years in my previous relationship that at any moment, I could get tossed, is completely absent. You see not only have I chosen him and am committed to him but he is committed to me. That, in a strange way, strengthens my feeling of commitment to him. It also makes me feel a lot more loved and worthy of that love. He took a chance on me just as I did on him. When I fuck up, he'll still be my husband. When he fucks up, I'll still be his wife. Those things won't change and THAT is a miracle not to be taken for granted.