Monday, May 9, 2011

Farm days....I miss you!


So working 12 hour days during the busy season is not conducive to doing much more than coming home, flopping out on the couch and passing out.  If I'm lucky I wake up around 10 or 11 pm with just enough lucidity to change in to my jammies and fall in to bed......mentally tired from the stress of the day.

This is NOT the life.  Is there any wonder why I really want to move out on to a farm?  To motivate me to further my farmgirl ventures I put Little House on the Prairie at the top of my Netflix list.  Ahhhh......what a life.  Physically hard but mentally pleasing.  Hard but good.  When did we ever buy into easy being good?  Innovative is good.  Creative is good.  But easy just to save our sorry asses from having to get up off the couch is not at all good.  My ass can attest to that......it's growing.  Like some cult sci-fi classic------gah!  The BLOB!

Alright, I might be exaggerating but you know exaggeration makes a much better story!!

So I have not been knitting.  I have not been:
Spinning
Dyeing
Baking (well maybe a little which has added some to the 'blob' feature, n.v. good)
Writing
Creating
or anything else that reminds me that hey; I'm a farmgirl 'member me?

Instead I have been getting sucked in to the invariable hamster on the wheel bottle-necked life that means once you start you-don't-dare-stop-for-fear......wait fear?  Ok, that's it. 

That's where I draw the line_____________________________________________________

Who am I if I am not Fearless Farmgirl?  I should be fearlessly pummeling in to every obstacle mental and physical that could be preventing me from being who I think will be the best version of me (farmgirl for sure) but instead I am finding out that - hey wait a mintue- I'm my own worst enemy?  You betcher sweet bippie.

*Sigh* How many times do I have to learn the same lesson?  The operative word being 'learn'.  If a lesson is learned there is no need for it to be repeated.  Well I think the big guy upstairs is pretty sure I have yet to deal with my own worst enemy.


ME.


For every action that helps me feel I know who I am or who I am opening up to being - there is an equal and opposite reaction that scoots me in the direction of the person who is like everyone else in this stinkin' rat race.  There's a reason they call it a 'rat' race.  I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a rat.  But 5 days a week, in order to earn a paycheck, I have to be a rat.  Then I get to come clean on the weekends and be.....oh I don't know.....a salamander or something. 


Sorry, I like salamanders.  And they are indicators of a healthy ecosystem so totally fitting here.  Well eventually being a rat 5 days out of the week for 365 days a year begins to wear on you. 

It's tough.  Very tough to maintain a level above what this world wants you to sink to.  It's especially tough when your own family looks at you like you have 6 heads because you want to do something different even though you've been taking a different road from everyone else for your entire existence. 

What's the saying; Well behaved women rarely make history? 
Well sorry but I believe that it's possible to change the world....one rat-in-to-one-salamander at a time.

2 comments:

  1. I just wanted to let you know that you were featured on my blog today.

    You can check it out here

    Hope you have a good weekend

    ReplyDelete