Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Post About Nothing

 This is going to be a very strange post.  But I can't just sit around thinking about things so I'm going to post about nothing because if I tell you specifics about what it's about.....I could get in lots of trouble.

I have a flare for drama like anyone else and I suppose retaliation against me is pretty far fetched but it feels like a possibility and so I'm scared.  And as I have used my real picture on here, I had better play it safe and deal strictly in vagueness.

When you are in the position to do the right thing, do you always do it or do you let the fear of what might come after what you've done trump any possibilities of doing the right thing?

Sometimes I let fear rule.  This time I am not.  And it's scaring the shit out of me.  Which is quickly followed by anger of course.  I SHOULD be angry at someone for being such a low life, slime ball, power hungry, control freakishly corrupt individual and putting me in this position, should I not?

I am not nearly as afraid for myself as I am for someone else who has waaaay more to lose than I do.  But what IS the price of your dignity and self-respect anyway?  The inside of my mouth, which I can't seem to stop gnawing on, is a testament to my level of anxiety.  Yet I dare not leave the phone.

Don't worry, this will get old fast and eventually I will leave the house, go on an errand, go for a walk etc. because being ruled by fear and anxiety can be paralyzing and frankly; I like moving too much to sit around and let that happen.

Already I feel my hips swaying and my foot tap tap tapping to Jack Johnson's 'Bubble Toes' that just came on, because it always feels good to be on the verge of doing something you know for a fact God would be proud of you for doing.  Nothing like making dad happy.

Live in truth peoples.

It's quite the ride.


"When you move like a jellyfish, rhythm don't mean nothin', you go with the flow.....you don't stop............la da dada da da.....la dada da da da da.....la da dada da da........la dada da da da da.......hmmmmmm.

1 comment:

  1. Mark Batterson writes in In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day:

    Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshiping what’s right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don’t try to be who you’re not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away.

    Chase the lion.

    Going through my reader and I read this on welivesimply.info right after your post. Seemed like they go together.

    Ellie

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