Thursday, February 25, 2016

Turning the Corner

Right about now I usually start to smell spring. Call me crazy, but there's something in the air right now that isn't there mid-January. Add to that the softening rains, the constant winds bringing snow, rain, sleet and 49 degrees all in one day and you'll find me with my wrists buried in potting soil, starting onions from seed.

This year is going to be so vastly different from last year. Although hopefully not too different, look at the gorgeous corn we grew last year. Whew. Stunner.

Last year we had so much going on I couldn't think straight, had no memory (that's still recovering with the help of Ginkgo) and just held on to my butt until everything passed. And it did pass. I don't know why we (I) try so hard to hang on to how things are at any given moment when change can just as likely bring you better things as worse and which one depends quite a lot on your attitude.

We have spinach seedlings growing under here. And I have to mention that this was a couple days ago, when we had -26 around 7am.

It's different living on the farm. We both have noticed how we are able to pay more attention to this living breathing entity that we are trying to scratch a living out of. The moment the soil thaws. The gradual shifting of the sunrise. The incremental increase in daylight. Never will a spring feel so sweet!

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Finding My Fearlessness

Fearlessness is Possible I truly believe that now.

Somewhere in between the feminist brain washing, the cleverly captured photos of tiny houses that cost thousands of dollars to build and the ideas of what I thought life would be like.....was me. I'm still here. I am still fearless. But let me take you on a little journey that started about three years ago.

Who we are and who we claim to be are often very different. Who we are and who others think we are is even more different. When your life is built on the sand of self-promotion, when desire doesn't produce results because you are too afraid of taking that first step, you are now a prisoner of your own design.

In the paragraph above 'we' is me and 'you' is me. And neither of them are me at all.

It's as simple as counting beans; one, two, three. Challenge your ideas of who you are. Don't listen to those who try to keep you from changing (including yourself) because they are so scared of change they don't care if you will be a better person (and prefer you not be) because that would be different, your relationship with them would be different, and like the Goblin King in The Labyrinth their power over you would be gone.

So here we are, 2016. My fearlessness started out as a statement about how I would dive in to learning new things with no fear of failure. I did well. I learned lots of skills: canning, making jam, baking bread, dying wool, spinning yarn, crocheting, making cheese, making soap, baking dog treats etc. etc.  But skills like this only get you so far.

If you can't work with others; you are doomed to be alone. If you can't accept that you have faults and failings; you are doomed to keep them. If you can't discern who to listen to and who to ignore; you will walk around in a state of constant confusion. If your thoughts are always about your own wants and needs; you will never know true love.

I know this is a very personal blog post. But I think it's time we got personal. I've been claiming to be fearless for several years now and it's time I dive in to life the same way I've dived in to less important things. Stay tuned. Some days it feels like life is just beginning. <3 Me.